Acts, Axe, and Ask

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "knowing the proper word to use in a sentence is very important and could prevent further confusion to all the non speaking english individuals who are trying to learn the language  of our awesome country."

Example:

1.  Acts

Every now and then I acts him how he is doing.  - Wrong on all levels.

2.  Axe

Every now and then I axe him how he is doing. - Wrong again on all levels.

3.  Ask

Every now and then I will ask him how he is doing. - Right and very acceptable on all levels.


The correct way to use all of the above is as follows:

Every now and then she acts in a movie where she takes an axe and then proceeds to ask can I kiss you good night and smother you with a pillow.  If that is not acceptable then I shall proceed to plan b which will determine if I have the strength or the strenf to carry on with this episode of Snapped.

It is your choice Mister.......

Snakes On the Toilet

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "I hate a mother trucking snake."

If you have read any of my stories or even listened to me speak you would know a little about how I grew up in the country.  And not just in any part of the country but on the Flint River in Pike County Georgia.  God's country if I might add.  At 11 years old I thought so anyway. 


We lived in a single wide trailer that had not one front door but two front doors.  We had no back door. I wanted a back door.  The things you just don't realize you appreciate in this life.

 Anywho....

Every now and then the immaculate plumbing that we didn't have would spring a leak.  Well everyone knows that a leak unnoticed or just plain out ignored will cause damage to the floors. So needless to say we had a few holes in the floor of that mansion. 

My mom was like a magician when it came to hiding those holes.  She would get a fancy mancy throw rug at the nearest K-mart blue light special and BAMMMMMM!!! no more hole. 

Well one glorious Sunday morning I felt nature calling and off to the little cow-girls room I went.  I carefully propped the door that was off the hinges up in an effort to give myself a little privacy.  As I am sitting there doing the do.....I look to the left and immediately have heart failure at the age of 11.

There was a snake right by the door that I had just propped up.  Now, I am in a bit of a situation.  I have to walk by the slimy bastard to get out.  So I finish my business, pulled my britches up, skipped the washing of hands at this point (I know gross!!)  and think how I wish I had wings at this time. I did not want to walk by that snake. (Did I mention I hate FREAKING SNAKES!!!)

I manage my way by without getting attacked and I tell my mom about our little visitor.  And of course she thought I was completely crazy. She might have even asked if I did drugs. (Mom I am only 11, I will at least wait until I am 16 for such shenanigans)   

So..... our day goes on as normal..... And then it happens.....

The little slimy bastard sticks its slimy neck out behind the chair.  WE FREAKED OUT!!! We went running out of  one of the two front doors and continued to FREAK OUT.

Later on my dad arrives... TO SAVE THE DAY.... (not).....

We filled him in on the days festivities and his reply (I kid you not) was, "well it only keeps the rats away, and that is a good thing."

If you have to keep critters such as snakes around to keep other critters like rats away, well you just might be a damn redneck.  GET RID OF THE RATS. I was not comforted at all. 

That night, my mom, my two brothers and myself sleep in the Nova that had no reverse because the transmission was shot out.  For one night I felt homeless, however I didn't sleep with a snake. 

And to this day.... I will not sleep with a snake.

Crazy Joe Expeditiously

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "one of my all time favorite movies is Lean On Me starring Morgan Freeman." 

I have seen this movie quiet a few times and for whatever reason today I just started thinking about the one scene where Morgan Freeman (a.k.a. Crazy Joe) and the young boy are on the roof top. 

In a nut shell he tells the young man that since he likes to smoke crack that he might as well just jump off the roof.  He tells him basically crack is a slow suicide and he shouldn't mess around with killing himself slowly he should just do it.

That is by far one of my favorite scenes from the movie.  A lot of people probably would look at this and think that he is being really cruel to the young man.  I don't think he was being cruel at all. He was being very firm and trying to get a point across to this young man. And if any of you have seen the movie, you know that it worked very well. This young man turned his life around.

Our country has become nothing but a bunch of soft, wearing my feelings on my sleeves, why didn't I get first place, you owe me everything when I don't deserve anything, don't want to work, slackers.

If an authoritative figure took this approach now, the parents that aren't even present in the kids life which probably caused him to turn to this lifestyle in the first place would want to be crying lawsuit.  Meanwhile our children are not structured, disciplined or God Fearing. 

A lot of the children now a days have absolutely no respect for any authoritative figure.  I was always taught to say yes ma'am and no ma'am.  And I don't care how bad I wanted to say something back, I best  keep my damn  mouth shut. 

We need a Crazy Joe sometimes.  Sometimes a Crazy Joe is just want the doctor ordered. 

I have said it before and I will say it again,  it truly takes a village to raise a child.  Unfortunately we live in a society where parents will cover for their children's behavior in fear of "looking bad."  They will blame everyone else except the person that is actually to blame. 

I am no where close to being perfect in the parenting department, however I have never cared what another individual thought when it came to me correcting my children's behavior. I know what lies ahead for them.  And if I can correct it now, then hopefully it will make things a little easier. 

And believe it or not, I think I would have taken this approach too.  People can call me mean, or hard or rough.  When it comes to the well-being of my children I will take any means necessary. 

I am not their best friend first, I am their mother first.  And I would do anything in the world for them, even tell them to Jump.

Live Laugh Love

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "say what you mean and mean what you say."

One of my signature traits that those close to me know is my no holding it back and saying exactly what I mean and think motto. And I don't mean the type of saying what I feel to hurt someone's feelings kind of thing. I'm not mean just matter of fact. Those are two different things. 

Wars are started because of grown people's lack of ability to communicate on a civil level and not willing to compromise. It's the "I'm right and you are wrong" mentality that is ultimately our downfall. 

I say Live Laugh and Love. I say if you have an issue, say it. If you have a dream, make it a reality. If you love, show it. If you are hurt, tell it. Don't expect anyone to ever know exactly what you are thinking or feel. 

If you don't chose to Live Laugh and Love then don't get pissed when everyone else is enjoying the train ride and you are left stranded on the tracks. That's your own damn fault. 

And don't expect to always be invited either some times you just have to crash the party. Just be sure you are wearing your best heels when you do.

Make Each Day Count. Be Blessed. Be a Blessing. 

Money, dinero, G's, bucks, cash, stacks, fat pockets, chips, dough, the stash, fat pockets, cheese, figures.

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "all of the above CAN BUY HAPPINESS."

They are all words used when speaking of money.

I know, I know..... we always hear the phrase that money can't buy happiness and quiet frankly I think that is a crock of shit. Let me enlighten everyone.

Yes, I know that if ALL your focus and energy is on money that it will not matter how much you have you will still be empty.  It is like no other addiction.  A crackhead looking for the next fix,  a sex addict looking for the next thrill, a gambler looking to place the next bet , an alcoholic looking for the next drink , or someone that overeats looking for their next feast. If you turn to MONEY for comfort, of course you will be miserable. Because at the end of the day, it can't fulfill all your needs. 

But,  when people say that it can't buy you happiness, nahhhhhhh, that is no where near being the truth. 

Ask a single mother of three that has absolutely no idea where the next meal for her babies is coming from if a $20.00 bill wouldn't buy some type of happiness.

Ask a family of six that is about to get evicted from their home because dad was laid off and can no longer make the mortgage if $1000.00 wouldn't make him happy.

Ask someone that has to pay rent monthly for their business and has now been told they will be evicted if $500.00 will not make them happy. 

When people do not have to stress over how they are going to feed their family, keep the lights on and a roof over their head......ummm yea they are much happier.

So again, it is all about intent and how a person uses what they have been blessed with.

I love to bless others with what I have been blessed with and of course, every now and then, buy a new pair of shoes. 

You see, What Had Happened Was.........

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "What the hell happened to my house?"

Let me set the stage.... o.k....... lights, camera, action......

Date:  06/25/2013 @ 11:30 p.m.

Victor: "hey mom a few of my friends are coming over tomorrow and we gone watch some movies and hang out is that aight with you."

Me: "oh who are they and what time are they coming over."

Victor: "oh about 10:30 a.m. and it's... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... we just gone hang out and watch some movies and stuff"

Me: "that is fine but please make sure you have it clean when they arrive and clean when they leave."

Victor: "Oh sure, you know I will."

Me: "o.k. goodnight love you."

Victor: "love you too."

Date: 06/26/2013 @ 9:00 a..m.

Me: dial Victor's cell that I pay for monthly, get no answer. (that is a shocker!)  wait a few minutes and try again and get no answer. (another shocker)

Victor: calls me back 15 minutes later

Me: I miss the call because I actually work for a living and can't just answer when he is available.

Victor: calls me back

Me: I answer

Victor: "my phone wouldn't answer for some reason, that's weird." (yea, his ass was sleeping)

Me: "oh o.k. well do you have any money because if you do go ahead and send someone to pick up some drinks and snacks  and I will pay you back, enjoy your day with your friends." (why am I even paying him back, I dunno)

Victor: "o.k. mom I love you." 

Me: "love you too."

Date: 06/26/2013 @ 8:09 p.m.

Me: arrive at house after working 12 hours and dealing with some exhausting situations, walk in the front door and immediately feel blood pressure rise.  "What the bleepity, bleep, bleep happened to the bleepity, bleep, bleep house.?!"

Kayla: "hmmmmm Victor left with his friend after they got done with all three movies."

Poor Kayla, she got the wrath and nothing was her fault.  Thirteen teenagers ranging from 15 to 19, and then Jacob in the mix.   Cups everywhere, stuffing from my decorative pillows everywhere (what did my pillows do to anyone), dirt all on the floor and carpet. Did they just drag their feet through the yard and decide to shake them off in the house? 

Now, I have no issue with young teenagers
enjoying life and I would definitely much rather my children be at home rather than out in the streets. I am very blessed with that, however, specific instructions were that the house be clean before they arrive (which I had already done) and the house be clean when the leave. (which was not done)

So What Had Happened Was..... someone had something else on the agenda and now Mom is indulging in an alcoholic beverage while cleaning up.   Yes I know people..... I should make him do it. But he's not here!!! And everyone knows that I am OCD about my house. I can't stand it, ain't going to leave it dirty, can't sleep if it is..........

So while I am cleaning, ya'll kick your fancy high  heels up and enjoy a little R & R........

I will be back a little later.

Panties are Important

If These Heels Could Talk they would say that panties are important and not just any pair of panties they better be a pretty pair. 

Recently I made an unplanned visit to get my bi-weekly manicure and pedicure. Normally I try to go on the weekends however the past few weekends I couldn't squeeze another minute of anything in to my days. 

So I chose to pick up my daughter and make a beeline to the nail salon right after work. It's really not a good idea to wear a skirt while getting a pedicure. However if you are you best make sure you have your best under garments on in case someone accidentally gets a peep show.

Now a few months back another nice young lady was getting her nails done at the same time as I was and I will say that she apparently didn't live by the motto of wearing panties at all. 

As I am bending down to unstrap my heel she is adjusting her seating and there all her glory was right in front of my face. I thought should I throw a dollar bill at her or tell her she forgot something at home. Oh the moments when I could really put a surprise look on someone's face. I chose to do nothing but enjoy the rest of my visit and vow not to look in that direction again. 

Back to my trip....

I was relieved that I hadn't forgotten my pretty panties after it was all said and done.  In normal fashion, because I was wearing a skirt  they draped a towel across my legs and I felt pretty comfortable with the situation. 

As I was getting the royal treatment of nails and toes at the same time I felt like I was being watched. 

The way I was situated in my chair unfortunately made it easier for those ladies that were given pedicures to the other clients to see right up my skirt. 

I really thought I was covered well until I saw one of them look in my direction not once, not twice but three times. 

Now three times was a bit much. I felt like damn, now I'm gone have to charge her. This ain't a free peep show. I felt trapped,  I couldn't move my feet or my hands to adjust and at that moment I was just glad I knew my panties were pretty. 

My motto is if you are going to show your assets off make sure they are clean and pretty. You never know when someone is watching you. 

Nothing

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, I am feeling blessed today.

So many so far have embraced my quirky personality, my mouth like a Sailor, loud, joke telling, high heeled, closet redneck self. Although I can be a damn handful, I am loved way beyond what I deserve. 

I have so many thoughts and ideas of the things that I want to accomplish that at times it becomes overwhelming. 

I  am thankful for so many that believe in me even when I question myself. It is because of them that I am able to sincerely say that I feel more alive than I ever have. This doesn't mean that I still don't have a moment or two of the blahs. It just means I will not accept the blahs as normal every day life. 

So on this day I say, "right now at this moment I chose to appreciate where I was, where I am and where I am heading. Nothing good is ever accomplished by doing nothing. 

And of course a nice pair of heels always makes the legs and butt look better. 

Time Stood Still for Brent

If These Heels Could Talk..... well they really wouldn't talk right now...they would probably shed a little tear.

It is amazing at what the brain will remember.  I know that there are tons of things that I have experienced in my life that I simply can't remember.  There are tons of things that I do remember that bring a huge smile to my heart and face.  Then there are tons of things in my life that I do remember that I wish I didn't remember because when I go there my smile vanishes.

Ain't that a bitch..........

For me, the things that I do remember the most are the ones that were either special, sad, or bad, a.k.a.  traumatic...... The first time I swam, the first time I  rode a bike, my first kiss, my first heartbreak, graduating from high school,  enlisting in the Navy, receiving my college degree the birth of all three of my children, the death of a loved one........

All of the things that I remember bring a different emotion.  However with most of them I can remember the time.  It was like with each experience that I remember the most for that moment time stood still.  The world stopped, nothing else mattered and my life was changed.

Today at 10:40 p.m. (a time to never be forgotten)  it will be exactly eight weeks since the world lost one of it's strongest warriors; Brent Beshers.......... 

Sixteen years old and still full of piss and vinegar, yet he was called home. I know that the moment he took his last breath on this side he was looking Jesus in the eyes.  And Jesus was saying, "Good Job faithful servant." 

I learned more from this young man in his journey to die then I have from anyone that has lived or is still living. 

His parents and the rest of his loved ones still mourn his loss and will continue to for quite some time. There is not a day that goes by that I am sure they do not think of him.  And I know for a fact they are working on projects to honor him. There is a tremendous void that can't be filled by anything else.

Eight weeks is not that long and quite frankly, I can't imagine what each one of them feels.  I am a friend and my heart hurts. 

We walk through life judging how others react to the circumstances that they are handed.  We are so quick to tell the other person how to play their hand that was dealt, yet we can't even decide whether we want to fold or bet.  And for some even with the chance to go all in, they still fold. 

Just because you may react one way to a situation does not mean that the other person will react the same way.  If we all remember this, including myself, we will begin to become so much more compassionate. 

Love a person for who they are where they are at....in my factual opinion we all have a little screwed-upness in us.  You just have to want to try to understand a little bit of the screwed-upness.

Brent is greatly missed by many and we will continue to celebrate his life. 

p.s... he also loved to shop for shoes, which is probably why we got along so well.

Weed

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "the question is not, is smoking this weed bad?"  The question is, "Is this weed I am smoking bad?" Two different meanings.......

p.s.....I do not endorse smoking weed.  I would if I could but I ain't cause I can't. 
It's just a joke people. Lighten Up, Buy a Life and a Pair of JimmyChoo Heels. Both instances will give you a high.

It Was All a Misunderstanding

If These Heels Could Talk they would say that sometimes what is being said is not what is really meant but adding a sexual innuendo always makes the conversation funnier. 

I will stage the situation -

I am sitting in my beach chair at the ballgame being as quiet as a mouse and minding my own business. (Not really)

My friend is sitting by me and is just talking my head off (Not really, it is actually the other way around) .... I mean really I came to watch the game not listen to constant ramblings about useless information.(Is what she was thinking)   But I love her in spite of her issue.  (Thank God she still loves me, she has an awesome pool and pool house, I need more friends like her)

So I pretend to listen and fight back the urge to yawn. (She never yawned)

A fellow bystander also known as our friend is answering his phone and this is where it all goes south.........

him on the phone: "Hey what you doing? Oh you just got done bush hogging."

me to my friend: "Oh so that is what we are calling it now a days."

friend to me: "I thought it used to be called baseball, you know 1st, 2nd, 3rd base, homerun and an occasional grandslam."

me and my friend: "bahahahahahahah....bahahahahahahahahaha..... bahahahahahahahah

him on the phone: clueless to our inside joke

We made a Heel Out of Him..........not really, we let him in on the joke later at the PARTAY!!

Crack Kills

If These Heels Could Talk they would say that they would like to throat punch the person that constructed  this sidewalk that leads into a popular shopping establishment that I like to visit on an occasion or two.

A few weeks ago while sporting my 5 inch J-Lo kicks I bounced right up on this animal.  Apparently a man or a woman that doesn't wear heels thought this whole blueprint through and it is an epic fail in my factual opinion.

Needless to say on this day I played my own version of Step On a Crack and Break Yo MaMa's back.  I wasn't about to sacrifice my girls to one of these crack heads. Everybody knows that Crack is Whack.   Jenny might have been from the block but she wasn't going to die by the block. 

All made it through this warzone safe and sound with no battle scars.

And that was a Heel of a Day!!!

People Love to Talk

If These Heels Could Talk  they would say that one of my favorite actors is Tyler Perry and people love to talk.

I love his Madea movies. If he would let me I would love to be in one of them.  Heck I would pick up garbage, scrub toilets, dust, mop, whatever it takes to just be a part of the whole experience.  There are some awesome quotes from his movies.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is this one:

 "It doesn't matter what they call you it only matters what you answer too."Honey, folks are gonna talk about you till the day you die. And ain't nothin you can do.  LET FOLKS TALK. It ain't about
what they call you... it's what you answer to.   Mable "Madea" Simmons

Finally for the first time in my life I am 100% comfortable in my own skin. It has only taken me 38 years and many self evaluations to get to this point.  I realize that I am not the next runway model. I have freckles, wide hips, a chipped tooth, cellulite, stretch marks (thanks to my precious angels, so really those are battle scars), tattoos, the occasional pimple thanks to good ole mother nature, and the list goes on and on. 

All that I just described,  yet I still feel beautiful.  Now notice I said feel and not look.  Feeling and looking are two different things.  Once you feel beautiful then the looking beautiful comes naturally. And no I don't think I am naturally all that and a bag of chips.  Right now I don't look like anything much except a hot mess because I have been in bed sick all day. Even Jacob didn't want me to get out at the school without makeup on he said, "you just go on back home and rest."  God love the woman he gets.   But even with my outer appearance looking ratchet, I still feel beautiful. 

What is interesting in this whole journey of becoming comfortable and confident is that some of those that were closest to me are no longer close to me.  Some of those that saw me at my worst do not want to see me at by best. 

In the past few months I have been called more names by some of those that profess to "love" me than I have ever been called in my whole entire life. (at least to my face) I have compiled a list:  bitch, evil, self-centered, selfish, hateful, vain, awful, loud, mean, and over the top.  I am sure that there are more I could add to the list I just can't remember them all.

Now I can't say that being called any of those names wasn't hurtful to me.  I would be lying if I said they didn't sting just a tiny bit.  And I wouldn't want to chance being called a liar too.   I have been accused of "going through a mid-life crisis." Of course whoever said that hasn't taken time out of their day to confirm that with me so I guess they will never know.  Sucks for them because if I were we could really have some fun.  Usually people going through these types of crisis go on spending sprees. Their loss.......

Anywho......

I will be the first to tell you that I can be a bit on the impatient side and I am a very passionate person with anything I am involved in.  I believe if you are going to do something you might as well do it right and give it your all.  Maybe that is where the over the top comes from I really don't know and at this point don't give a damn. I will tell you this, watching a close friend lose her sixteen year old son to leukemia put a whole new perspective on the way I was living and wanted to live and changed my life for the better. 

Why do I tell this story? Well it is simple really...... I may still have a moment here and there with my self-doubt and if for one second I entertain any of the negative words being fired at me, then the 38 years that I spent trying to be a better person will have been wasted.  And quite frankly we are in a recession and I ain't wasting anything.

So I say to anyone who wants to talk, talk....I do not choose to answer to anything except: Mom, MaMa, Mommy, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend or Lover........... And those that call me these better expect that I am prepared to LIVE, not just exist.  I want all of them to be a part of my journey!                                                                          I will be wearing my red High Heels.

Sometimes The Other Guy is An Alright Guy

If These Heels Could Talk on this day they would say, "sometimes the other guy is an alright guy."        

For the last two weekends I have had the awesome pleasure of sitting in the hot Georgia heat to watch my youngest son Jacob and his team mates play in the All-Star tournaments. Last weekend was the tournament that would qualify us for the state tournament. The first and second place teams received a trip to the state tournament. We came in second last weekend and therefore won our trip.
 

I love old people and kids, it's the ones in  the middle that tend to rattle me. Last weekend I began a love hate relationship with the other team's third baseman.  Yes, I know he was only eleven years old, but let me say this, he already knew how to use his charm.

The relationship began when one of our players popped up and I yelled, "miss it!" as loud as I possibly could to the opposing team.  Of course I wished no ill will on this other team, but let's face it, all is fair in love and war.  And quite frankly, I wanted our team to win.   As I yelled "miss it", the eleven year old third baseman from the other team immediately looked at me, and if looks could or should kill, then I shouldn't be writing this story right now, ya'll should be throwing a party that I am no longer here to "tell it like it is."

Needless to say our relationship evolved even more when I was consistent with my encouragement for one of their players to "miss it" or "drop it" every time one of our players hit the ball.  And when I would dish it out he would give it right back to me. I got the evil eye every single time.

Now some may think that I was being mean and I assure you that this is not at all the case.  As I stated before, I love kids and old people and NEVER in a million years would I do anything to harm a child, I will however use whatever means necessary to encourage and motivate them.  Without even knowing the young man I could tell that he was very competitive and was even more determined to make sure that we had no runner on base.  I was merely encouraging him to work harder, and let me say, HE WORKED HARDER.

At one point he sneezed and I said, "God bless you." He looked over his right shoulder and said, "thank you." But I could tell it was like vinegar on the tongue and he really didn't want to say it, but apparently  his parents had raised him right and he knew a thank you was warranted. 

After all was said and done, his team won and he and his team mates shut me up. They were in first place and we were in second place.  I walked away with head hung low vowing to never see him again not realizing that we were destined to meet again. (I had already forgotten about the fact that the top two teams were going to State) 

This weekend began the State tournament and  as our boys were playing their second game of the day on Saturday another young group of boys who happened to be in between games came and sat in front of me and the rest of the parents.

I began to ask them how their day was going and could see that they were enjoying their weekend. I asked them who had they played last at which point one of the answered, "the white team." Not missing a beat I said, "hey hey now that's a little racist now don't cha think." A couple of them got the lame joke and a couple of others it took a second and then they all giggled. 

We all carried on for a few more minutes, me poking fun with them and enjoying their childish laughter. One of the young boys said, "hey we are rooting for y'all's team to win." And I replied, "well yea if you know what's good for you." And then we locked eyes and I realized it was him!!!! 

I was ecstatic!!! I said hey, "you're the team from last weekend and you are my third base friend." He smiled and nodded his head. But then I was confused because there were two of them. I felt like I was watching the movie Double Trouble all over again.  Identical twins played on the same team, one being a third baseman and one being a pitcher. 

I asked him why when he heard me yell, "miss it", did he give me such a mean look.  He told me, "because I am a very competitive person and I wanted my team to win.  And I of course said, "I knew that already, I could see it in how you played the game and that is an awesome trait to have." 

I still don't know my young friends name, nor does it matter what his name is.  I just know that even though he was the other guy he was an alright guy.  

When it was all said and done, their team beat us again in our third game on Saturday, eliminating our team from going farther.  I can honestly say that both teams gave it their all, his team just gave a little bit more to capture that win.  They didn't let anything hinder them from the prize at hand.

I congratulated my young friend after the game and told him to keep up the hard work. He just smiled, said "thank you", and walked away. 

In this life we will have curve balls and pop flys coming at us from all different  directions and if we aren't careful we will lose focus of the task at hand, which is ultimately to finish the game and score the most runs. The key is to keep our eye on the ball, swing level, run fast, slide head first when needed, and then knock it slam out of the park when we get that perfect pitch.  Of course every now and then it's best to  don your best pair of heels and yell from the sidelines offering up encouragement to all of those in your presence.

Offended

When people are offended by the use of  my inappropriate comments, sarcasm or language at times,  I get just as offended that they don't use the same inappropriate comments, sarcasm  or language. We could have a real party. - Me

I've Got My Heels Up - Life is Grand

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "after a long day of baseball games, nail biting innings, Georgia no-see-ums eating us alive, sweating it out in the hot humid  Georgia sun, we need to prop up and relax."

Who says that The Real Baseball Moms can't have their fun too? 

Nothing but inappropriate jokes told, laughing until our belly's hurt, tears in our eyes, feeling blessed and beautiful to be raising such talented smart young men moments last night. 

Some of the moms from the team decided we needed to unwind and enjoy the super moon and each other's awesome company while  partaking in an adult beverage or two. 

Now the reason there is no picture of the rest of the ladies is because they said they weren't ready for pictures. However my sweet daughter and son had no problem posing with their MaMa.

I  think I'm slipping on the training of The Real Baseball Moms of PC. 

Girls you have to always be camera ready, after all the world is our stage.

 

"While we are trying to figure it out, he is working it out." - anonymous 

Just Another Night At The Ballfield

If These Heels Could Talk.....they would say, "What a night!!!!" 

 

One of my favorite things is watching my youngest son play his sports.  Right now it is baseball and the fall it will be football.  Tonight his team won 17 to 5 and he made an awesome play in right field.  Of course I yelled, "that is my boy", as if the people around me didn't already know that.  I just wanted to remind them in case it might have slipped their mind.

 

Over the years I would have to almost always leave work and head straight to the fields, whether it was a softball field, when I coached Kayla, or a baseball field or football field for the boys. I would of course be in my business attire upon arrival.  No, it wasn't planned to show up in a skirt, blouse and heels, it just worked out that way. I personally never thought much of it, until recently.

 

I do not find it insulting at all when someone is trying to describe me to another person and they say, "you will know her when you see her."  And then when they see me they know me because of what shoes I am wearing. Now there has been a time or two that someone has said that they thought I was the female version of a dog due to the "shoes" I was wearing. Now I have heard of profiling but profiling  because of a pair of stilettos is taking it a bit far. I wasn't offended though.

 

It is no secret that I love my shoes just about as much as I love watching my kids play their sports.  It is a real tight race if I am being honest.  And now it has become topic of conversation. Even today I was asked, "so what shoes are you wearing tomorrow?"

 

Now I realize some will think that this is quite ridiculous and who really cares about what shoes I am wearing. I can't say I wouldn't disagree if I weren't a part of the situation.  I honestly don't think that it is about the shoes I am wearing at all.  It is about the awesome conversations we have and the laughter, joking and smiling when talking about them and  my ability to not roll and ankle in them. 

 

So I am embracing this part of my love of shoes and instead of trying to "fit" in with the rest of the crowd, I will  just continue to do what I do best.  I show up, I prop up, I make an inappropriate comment, yell at the umpire  and I cheer for home team. I just might be 4 inches taller than normal when I do it.

 

 

Shitaki Happens When Shitaki Hits the Wall

If these heels could talk on this day, they would say that Shitaki Happens when  Shitaki Hits the Wall, and when it all goes down, you need to know where you stand.....

READ WITH CAUTION....Have you ever experienced anything in which at the moment it happened or was happening, you were thinking, I have to be on Candid Camera or Punked?  A couple of months ago, this happened to me.

 

Now if you have a weak stomach you might not want to read but if you can handle anything then by all means, read on. I know my health care friends can relate, although this situation did not occur in the patient care setting, it is the epitome of Code Brown.
 

As with most of my days a few months ago, I found myself  extremely busy, shuffling paperwork, answering questions that shouldn't even be asked, etc..when low and behold my bladder said to me, you have drank a whole diet Sunkist, bottle of water and a large unsweet tea and duty calls. So off to the little cowgirl’s room I go to give my bladder some much needed relief.  And here is where the fun begins........

There are two stalls in this restroom and they are right beside each other. I go to the one on the very end. As I am finishing up I hear someone come into the bathroom and you could tell that this person was in some distress. I heard some moaning, “Oh Dear Lord, Oh Dear Jesus, Oh God,” Exact words I kid you not. Then I hear a shuffling of feet and I could see her drop her thick plush jacket on the floor which was outside my stall and hers. And then I hear more moaning and groaning, “Oh Dear Lord, Oh Dear Jesus, Oh God.” So in my mind I am thinking she must not be feeling all that well. I was genuinely concerned.

 

And then it happened, first there were the sounds of outgoing artillery rounds and then there was a massive explosion, if you know what I mean. And I know it was an explosion because I witnessed the “shrapnel” hit the wall and the floor from the stall I were I stood.

 

At that moment, I wasn’t sure if I should play invisible or offer assistance. If I play invisible then I will eventually be overcome with the cloud of smoke from the explosion. So that wasn't an option. I did ask if she needed help, although in my mind, I wasn't doing a damn thing.

 

As I am standing there pondering my escape, I can see her from below the stall wall, removing her shoes and her pants, which had suffered mass damage from the blast.    And out of everything she could possibly say she says, “It’s that damn hamburger helper, I know better than to eat it.” And I being me said, “Hmmm yea I would say that you should steer clear of that meal for a while.”

 

I first checked myself for any "shrapnel",  I picked her coat off the floor, laid it on the counter, scrubbed myself as if I was about to prepare for surgery and walked the heck up out of there in by 5"inch heels.   And that is what you call Shitaki Happens when  Shitaki Hits the Wall......

 

To this day I still steer clear of the Hamburger Helper.

Mind Over Matter

If these heels could talk, on this day they would say it is all about Mind Over Matter........

I remember growing up in rural Georgia right on the Flint River.  My mansion at the time was a single wide trailer that my dad had paid $500.00 for and pulled it to it's resting place with a tractor.  This mansion had two bedrooms and one bath.  My two brothers and I shared a bedroom.  It had one set of bunk beds, a twin bed and one four drawer dresser. 

This was home as I knew it and although I knew that others lived more extravagantly, I never felt like I was less than anyone.  My mother always made sure that we were proud of where we came from and was adamant that my brothers and I knew that there was more out in the world to see and experience. 

We did not have central heat and air. We had one wood burning stove for heat in the winter and as you know it can get quiet humid in the summer and therefore my mother would have all the windows raised to let what little breeze there was flow through the trailer.

I hated not having central air.  To be honest at the time I didn't even know what central heat and air was, I just knew I hated not having it.  There was always this one little mosquito that just would not die. No matter how many pillows you put over your head you could hear the pesky bastard around your ear.  Sleep was special in these moments. That mosquito was enough to drive any ten year old crazy.

Outside my mansion,  there was a big oak tree that my middle brother and I would often play under. There was no grass, just some Georgia red clay and a few roots from that tree.  We would spend hours under that  tree playing with trucks and cars and my Barbie dolls.  He would make a road with his hands or a brick  and then I would use his toy truck to drive Barbie around that dirt road. That tree was base for many hide and go seek games.  There were lots of memories by that tree.  I knew that tree well and there was nothing scary about that tree. 

At night time when I would go to bed I could see that very same tree from where I lay.  In the dark the same tree that I played and laughed  under during the daytime became something different, something that  was no longer pleasant. In the dark it  looked like a scary  monster.  I would be so scared looking out my window at that tree. I would spend seconds, minutes, or even hours scared that the monstrous creature that this tree looked like would come alive.  I no longer felt at peace about that tree as I did during the daytime, I now felt anxious and scared. 

As a ten year old little girl, you can't appreciate the mind's ability.  As a ten year old little girl, you can't comprehend what effect the mind has on one's life.  As an adult, I now know the tremendous effect the mind has on everything. A person with a strong,  healthy mind can change the world. While a person with a weak, sick mind can destroy the world.

Most people will say that the heart is what feels and is most powerful. I would not disagree that the heart feels and is powerful but in my opinion  the mind is the most powerful part of the human body.   The mind has the ability to make you believe that things are real, when in fact they aren't real. The mind also has the ability to make you feel like something is not there when in actuality it is and was there all along.  The mind will tell you to give up when you need to keep going. The mind will tell you that you feel pain and make you think you need to stop when the pain is really temporary and stopping should never  be an option.  The mind will tell you that you are not worthy, beautiful or smart.  Your mind will convince you that your dreams and goals are useless.  And the list can go on and on and on. You get my point.

I knew that the tree was harmless, yet when the dark arrived in my mind it became something harmful.   I allowed my mind to take something pleasant and special and turn it into something dreadful.  All I really had to do was close my eyes and picture that tree during the day time and fear would have been diminished.  All I had to do was take the negative image that I saw in that tree at night time and turn it into something positive.  At ten years old I didn't know the power of positive thinking. 

Fast forward twenty eight years and I will still say that on any given day we all have the potential to think negative thoughts, at least I know I do.  I have learned however that with every negative thought I have, it takes away from the  joy and drive I have for living.  And I don't mean just breathing, I mean LIVING. 

LIVING to me is helping those that can't help themselves, lending an ear for a friend, crying for and with those that are heart broken, laughing at the most inappropriate things, making fun of myself, saying a cuss word when I hit my finger with the hammer, having a night cap on a rough day (which could potentially contribute to negative thoughts, just saying, drink with caution), being childish with my children, not only having goals and aspirations for myself but acting on them and making them a reality. LIVING also means not only loving those around me unconditionally but being loved unconditionally.  And finally LIVING for me means  BUYING A NEW PAIR OF HEELS.   

If you exercise your mind to get rid of negative thoughts and images, then nothing else will matter.