Stuff Money Can't Buy

If these heels could talk they would say, “I have ALWAYS believed that no personal encounter is by mistake.”  I truly believe that EVERY person that we encounter has a purpose.  Call me crazy, but I believe it.  I believe it with every ounce of being I have. 

The encounter could be by choice or by chance either way there is a purpose. 

A while back I accompanied a friend on her daily grind and I assisted with her business.  She needed help and I needed something to do....so I went. 

By me going,  I was fortunate enough to meet the most pleasant lady.  She was eighty years old.  If you don't know one thing about me, it is this... I LOVE OLD PEOPLE. They have stories, they have a history........ 

She asked if I could help her out in her garage with a few things and I was obliged to help.   Next a blessing came.... not for her but for me. 

She spoke of her things.... She said, "I am too old for ALL this responsibility."  She spoke of her late husband of fifty four YEARS!!!!  She said how he was so unorganized and she showed me his area where  he kept his tools.  I found it funny that even after his death his things annoyed her by being everywhere. While she spoke of how unorganized he was, I could tell that she missed him terribly.  Even with his un organized self.... she longed for him... someone... even at eighty years old. 

She explained how her daughter lived hours away and was busy in her career. Most of her friends had died and she ate alone a lot. My heart broke for a lady that I had just met.  

We work our whole lives for THINGS.  Houses, clothes,j jewelry, cars, THINGS.... and in the grand scheme of life all we want is companionship.  

Someone to talk to. 
Someone to confide in.  
Someone to laugh with.
 Someone to cry with. Someone to hope with.
 Someone to die with.  

My mother taught me years ago that Love is truly the most important thing and if you have love you are wealthy by many means. 

I was reminded of that on that day. 

You can't take money with you.
You can't take stuff with you.
 It is what you leave behind that is important.
Memories ..... 

Memories are priceless.... Even the most wealthiest can't buy them.

Walmart Hell On Earth

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "I really have no clue what I want to say, I just know I feel like talking."

Today I ventured out to what I consider one of the most dreadful places in the universe.  I believe that it is close to being what I imagine hell on Earth would be and it goes by the name of  Wal-Mart. 

I freaking hate Wal-Mart.  I hate Wal-Mart with a passion. And I also dislike many of the people that visit Wal-Mart.  They have no shopping class.  What is shopping class you ask?

Well for starters, you don't stand in the middle of the isle having a mini family reunion. You can greet your cousin of your cousin that just gave birth to her fifth baby at church tomorrow.  I am on a mission here. Get out of my way.

Secondly, I realize that Wal-Mart may not bring out the best in every one, but wearing a bra in public is highly recommended for many. 

Please practice proper hygiene. Today as I was trying to get a pack of pencils I brushed up against an individual that clearly had not  bathed in days, possibly months.   There are plenty of rivers, ponds and creeks surrounding us and the last time I checked a bar of soap ain't that expensive.

I do realize that it is extremely hard to quit smoking, but please do not take a toke off of your cig only to walk in the door to exhale every bit of cancerous nicotine you can in my face. I would like to live a little bit longer.  Thank you for keeping your second hand smoke to yourself.

Keep your camel toe and your a double s cheeks to yourself.  Unless you work at a gentleman's club these things really should not be exposed. I really don't have the time to explain such creatures to my young son. I will let him learn them in the locker room.

And lastly, when you are walking in front of vehicles, remember you might think that you are in control, but really your hip and back will never recover from an accidental bump by that vehicle. Move it!!!!

Shitaki Happens When Shitaki Hits the Wall

If these heels could talk on this day, they would say that Shitaki Happens when  Shitaki Hits the Wall, and when it all goes down, you need to know where you stand.....

READ WITH CAUTION....Have you ever experienced anything in which at the moment it happened or was happening, you were thinking, I have to be on Candid Camera or Punked?  A couple of months ago, this happened to me.

 

Now if you have a weak stomach you might not want to read but if you can handle anything then by all means, read on. I know my health care friends can relate, although this situation did not occur in the patient care setting, it is the epitome of Code Brown.
 

As with most of my days a few months ago, I found myself  extremely busy, shuffling paperwork, answering questions that shouldn't even be asked, etc..when low and behold my bladder said to me, you have drank a whole diet Sunkist, bottle of water and a large unsweet tea and duty calls. So off to the little cowgirl’s room I go to give my bladder some much needed relief.  And here is where the fun begins........

There are two stalls in this restroom and they are right beside each other. I go to the one on the very end. As I am finishing up I hear someone come into the bathroom and you could tell that this person was in some distress. I heard some moaning, “Oh Dear Lord, Oh Dear Jesus, Oh God,” Exact words I kid you not. Then I hear a shuffling of feet and I could see her drop her thick plush jacket on the floor which was outside my stall and hers. And then I hear more moaning and groaning, “Oh Dear Lord, Oh Dear Jesus, Oh God.” So in my mind I am thinking she must not be feeling all that well. I was genuinely concerned.

 

And then it happened, first there were the sounds of outgoing artillery rounds and then there was a massive explosion, if you know what I mean. And I know it was an explosion because I witnessed the “shrapnel” hit the wall and the floor from the stall I were I stood.

 

At that moment, I wasn’t sure if I should play invisible or offer assistance. If I play invisible then I will eventually be overcome with the cloud of smoke from the explosion. So that wasn't an option. I did ask if she needed help, although in my mind, I wasn't doing a damn thing.

 

As I am standing there pondering my escape, I can see her from below the stall wall, removing her shoes and her pants, which had suffered mass damage from the blast.    And out of everything she could possibly say she says, “It’s that damn hamburger helper, I know better than to eat it.” And I being me said, “Hmmm yea I would say that you should steer clear of that meal for a while.”

 

I first checked myself for any "shrapnel",  I picked her coat off the floor, laid it on the counter, scrubbed myself as if I was about to prepare for surgery and walked the heck up out of there in by 5"inch heels.   And that is what you call Shitaki Happens when  Shitaki Hits the Wall......

 

To this day I still steer clear of the Hamburger Helper.