Today I ventured out to what I consider one of the most dreadful places in the universe. I believe that it is close to being what I imagine hell on Earth would be and it goes by the name of Wal-Mart.
I freaking hate Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart with a passion. And I also dislike many of the people that visit Wal-Mart. They have no shopping class. What is shopping class you ask?
Well for starters, you don't stand in the middle of the isle having a mini family reunion. You can greet your cousin of your cousin that just gave birth to her fifth baby at church tomorrow. I am on a mission here. Get out of my way.
Secondly, I realize that Wal-Mart may not bring out the best in every one, but wearing a bra in public is highly recommended for many.
Please practice proper hygiene. Today as I was trying to get a pack of pencils I brushed up against an individual that clearly had not bathed in days, possibly months. There are plenty of rivers, ponds and creeks surrounding us and the last time I checked a bar of soap ain't that expensive.
I do realize that it is extremely hard to quit smoking, but please do not take a toke off of your cig only to walk in the door to exhale every bit of cancerous nicotine you can in my face. I would like to live a little bit longer. Thank you for keeping your second hand smoke to yourself.
Keep your camel toe and your a double s cheeks to yourself. Unless you work at a gentleman's club these things really should not be exposed. I really don't have the time to explain such creatures to my young son. I will let him learn them in the locker room.
And lastly, when you are walking in front of vehicles, remember you might think that you are in control, but really your hip and back will never recover from an accidental bump by that vehicle. Move it!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment