Bikini Tops and Pressure Washing

If These Heels Could Talk they would say,  "When you see me in shorts and a bikini top with the pressure washer out, that is not your cue to stop because you need to chat a second, that is your cue to keep damn driving or be pressure washed yourself."


Yesterday as I tried to relax for half a second in the pool and maybe catch a little vitamin D, Jacob was upstairs playing sniper out of his bedroom window.  As I am looking up and watching him, because frankly every time I would try to look away he would yell, "Hey mom are you watching?" I realized that the house is in need of a little pressure washing........

So I get out of the pool, sling on some shorts and set off to get the pressure washer out of the shed. Four hours later, the back side of the house and one side of the house is done, along with half of the driveway.  Just as I had one approximately three foot spot left of the driveway, I look up and get the living day lights scared out of me..... A man is getting out of his car, coming towards me and immediately starts talking to me, "are you Jacob's mom?"

Well isn't this awkward?  I am feeling a little underdressed for this casual meeting.  And now I am concerned, "What the hell did Jacob do?" Was my first thought.  My second thought was, "are you freaking kidding me?" 

I turn off the pressure washer in effort to show a little respect to hear what he has to say, trying to figure out if I should just continue to stand there feeling very under dressed or panic and run into the house.  So I just stood there.  Ain't no shame in my game.

Meanwhile in my mind, there is still an approximate three foot section of this drive way that needs to be done and I am really not hearing a thing this man is saying.  Please ADHD don't fail me now.  Don't show your colors now.......

He proceeds to explain that his ex is out of town and is curious if two of his kids can catch the bus at my house with Jacob since one of them is in the same grade as Jacob.  He continues telling me that his other kid will drive the other two to school because one of them is special needs. 

"Damn mister don't you know what causes all them children?" Was really where my mind was going.....

He said since he saw me outside he thought he would go ahead and stop since it was next week that this arrangement would be occurring.  

"Whatever mister, sure all of the Walton's can ride now carry on so I can finish the damn driveway I am losing daylight while you ramble."

He was grateful for my generosity and finally departed ways.  I return to finish the job at hand....... and the pressure washer won't start. 

"Are you kidding me?"  I will not rest until that spot is gone. 

Thank you neighbor. Glad I could help you.  You just contributed to part of my insanity.