Tied Up Toilets

If These Heels Could Talk they would say, "daddy has gone bonkers and the toilet ain't going no where."

So today as I was driving home I get an unexpected text from my dad.

Now I haven't really said too much about my parents in these writings, that I can remember.  My dad is country!!! I keep telling people if I had known being a redneck could make you millions, then I would have capitalized on that years ago. 

My parents have been married 42 years and I have known to break up a fight or two on more than one occasion.  My dad grew up in the country and will die in the country.  He is, has been and will always be set in his ways.  I love him dearly but have asked my mom on more than one occasion, "how on earth have you made it 42 years?"  Dedication and tolerance is the only explanation.

So today when I did receive my surprise text I wasn't too alarmed. I did however giggle about it. 

Dad to me via text: your momme donot under stand my back see make me bend so i stop that tape the the top to ther comd

Me to Dad via text: Damn hahahahah!

Dad to me via text: see whii not do right my back gone


Translation

Dad to me:  You mother does not understand that my back hurts.  She makes me bend down to lift the toilet seat. She is always closing it. So I hog tied the lid to the commode with duct tape.

Me to Dad: Damn hahahahahah

Dad to me:  She will not do right. And my back is gone.  I had to do what I had to do.

And there you have it folks.... The redneck way of doing things. Improvise. Adapt and overcome.  Hog tie a toilet with duct tape if need be.  But he is going to make things happen and he will not be bending over.

I bet my mother is fuming right now. That tape does not match those flowers.