I love his Madea movies. If he would let me I would love to be in one of them. Heck I would pick up garbage, scrub toilets, dust, mop, whatever it takes to just be a part of the whole experience. There are some awesome quotes from his movies.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is this one:
"It doesn't matter what they call you it only matters what you answer too."Honey, folks are gonna talk about you till the day you die. And ain't nothin you can do. LET FOLKS TALK. It ain't about
what they call you... it's what you answer to. Mable "Madea" Simmons
Finally for the first time in my life I am 100% comfortable in my own skin. It has only taken me 38 years and many self evaluations to get to this point. I realize that I am not the next runway model. I have freckles, wide hips, a chipped tooth, cellulite, stretch marks (thanks to my precious angels, so really those are battle scars), tattoos, the occasional pimple thanks to good ole mother nature, and the list goes on and on. All that I just described, yet I still feel beautiful. Now notice I said feel and not look. Feeling and looking are two different things. Once you feel beautiful then the looking beautiful comes naturally. And no I don't think I am naturally all that and a bag of chips. Right now I don't look like anything much except a hot mess because I have been in bed sick all day. Even Jacob didn't want me to get out at the school without makeup on he said, "you just go on back home and rest." God love the woman he gets. But even with my outer appearance looking ratchet, I still feel beautiful.
What is interesting in this whole journey of becoming comfortable and confident is that some of those that were closest to me are no longer close to me. Some of those that saw me at my worst do not want to see me at by best.
In the past few months I have been called more names by some of those that profess to "love" me than I have ever been called in my whole entire life. (at least to my face) I have compiled a list: bitch, evil, self-centered, selfish, hateful, vain, awful, loud, mean, and over the top. I am sure that there are more I could add to the list I just can't remember them all.
Now I can't say that being called any of those names wasn't hurtful to me. I would be lying if I said they didn't sting just a tiny bit. And I wouldn't want to chance being called a liar too. I have been accused of "going through a mid-life crisis." Of course whoever said that hasn't taken time out of their day to confirm that with me so I guess they will never know. Sucks for them because if I were we could really have some fun. Usually people going through these types of crisis go on spending sprees. Their loss.......
Anywho......
I will be the first to tell you that I can be a bit on the impatient side and I am a very passionate person with anything I am involved in. I believe if you are going to do something you might as well do it right and give it your all. Maybe that is where the over the top comes from I really don't know and at this point don't give a damn. I will tell you this, watching a close friend lose her sixteen year old son to leukemia put a whole new perspective on the way I was living and wanted to live and changed my life for the better.
Why do I tell this story? Well it is simple really...... I may still have a moment here and there with my self-doubt and if for one second I entertain any of the negative words being fired at me, then the 38 years that I spent trying to be a better person will have been wasted. And quite frankly we are in a recession and I ain't wasting anything. So I say to anyone who wants to talk, talk....I do not choose to answer to anything except: Mom, MaMa, Mommy, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend or Lover........... And those that call me these better expect that I am prepared to LIVE, not just exist. I want all of them to be a part of my journey! I will be wearing my red High Heels.
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