READ WITH CAUTION....Have you ever experienced anything in which at the moment it happened or was happening, you were thinking, I have to be on Candid Camera or Punked? A couple of months ago, this happened to me.
Now if you have a weak stomach you might not want to read but if you can handle anything then by all means, read on. I know my health care friends can relate, although this situation did not occur in the patient care setting, it is the epitome of Code Brown.
As with most of my days a few months ago, I found myself extremely busy, shuffling paperwork, answering questions that shouldn't even be asked, etc..when low and behold my bladder said to me, you have drank a whole diet Sunkist, bottle of water and a large unsweet tea and duty calls. So off to the little cowgirl’s room I go to give my bladder some much needed relief. And here is where the fun begins........
There are two stalls in this restroom and they are right beside each other. I go to the one on the very end. As I am finishing up I hear someone come into the bathroom and you could tell that this person was in some distress. I heard some moaning, “Oh Dear Lord, Oh Dear Jesus, Oh God,” Exact words I kid you not. Then I hear a shuffling of feet and I could see her drop her thick plush jacket on the floor which was outside my stall and hers. And then I hear more moaning and groaning, “Oh Dear Lord, Oh Dear Jesus, Oh God.” So in my mind I am thinking she must not be feeling all that well. I was genuinely concerned.
And then it happened, first there were the sounds of outgoing artillery rounds and then there was a massive explosion, if you know what I mean. And I know it was an explosion because I witnessed the “shrapnel” hit the wall and the floor from the stall I were I stood.
At that moment, I wasn’t sure if I should play invisible or offer assistance. If I play invisible then I will eventually be overcome with the cloud of smoke from the explosion. So that wasn't an option. I did ask if she needed help, although in my mind, I wasn't doing a damn thing.
As I am standing there pondering my escape, I can see her from below the stall wall, removing her shoes and her pants, which had suffered mass damage from the blast. And out of everything she could possibly say she says, “It’s that damn hamburger helper, I know better than to eat it.” And I being me said, “Hmmm yea I would say that you should steer clear of that meal for a while.”
I first checked myself for any "shrapnel", I picked her coat off the floor, laid it on the counter, scrubbed myself as if I was about to prepare for surgery and walked the heck up out of there in by 5"inch heels. And that is what you call Shitaki Happens when Shitaki Hits the Wall......
To this day I still steer clear of the Hamburger Helper.
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